A Sister’s Story of Healing and Hope

Dear Friend,

For the past few months, I’ve had the privilege of contributing to the inspiring "3P in Africa" movement.

It is a grassroots organization that teaches and shares the "3 Principles" (Sydney Banks) and brings love, forgiveness, and happiness to the people of Africa.

It is mending hearts and healing alcoholism in refugee camps and communities across Uganda, Kenya, and beyond.

I support the cause by sharing my insights and understanding with others there; my first encounter was with Martha.

As it turns out, she is more my teacher than I am hers. Below, you will hear her story.

It will touch and inspire you, and I hope you will see something new for yourself.

This has more to do with you than you might think. Martha's experience is universally human.

(Thanks to her for allowing me to share her story.)

I recently spoke with Martha for the first time.

She lives in Homa Bay, located on the northwest edge of Lake Victoria in Kenya.

Her brown, beautiful, strong face appeared on my laptop screen.

With braided hair and an animal-print dress, her vibrant energy filled the virtual space.

She greeted me with “Sister” and, before long, began sharing her life story.

A few years ago, her father passed away from liver sclerosis, a consequence of his heavy drinking.

He was admitted to the hospital one day and passed away the next. It was a shock for Martha, her mother, and her brother.

Her father had always been the breadwinner and the protector.

At the time of his death, he was 63, retired, and building a new house for his family—a home he never got to live in.

Martha was sitting in front of that house as we spoke.

At 30 years old, she is trained as a medical records clerk.

Though the government funded her training, job opportunities in Kenya are very scarce after vocational school.

So, she left her village, ready for life and full of innocence, and headed to the city to find work.

It was during her search for employment that she was raped and became pregnant.

Not wanting to burden her mother and unsure how to explain her situation, Martha turned to her grandfather, a respected church bishop.

Despite feeling ashamed and thinking her life was over, she found refuge and comfort in her grandfather’s orphanage, among twenty-five motherless children.

When her own child was born, she needed a C-section, which in rural Kenya is seen as a sign of a weak woman.

Returning to the orphanage after the birth, Martha felt doubly stigmatized and alone, her thoughts clouded by darkness.

When she thought about happy married couples with their beloved children, she felt unworthy in comparison.

She contacted friends for support, but they didn’t understand her. Their well-meaning advice felt superficial and hurtful.

As loneliness and depression deepened, she considered taking her own life.

The only thing holding her back was her daughter, Hilda, who was named after Martha’s beloved mother.

Who would breastfeed the baby if she were gone?

She didn’t know.

Lying in her room, feeling hopeless and scrolling through her smartphone, she stumbled upon “3P in Africa” and its organizer, Harry Derbitsky—almost as if by divine intervention.

I don't remember what she saw on his website, but it touched her, sparking a moment of awakening and letting some light in.

She reached out to Harry, and he responded. They’ve been in contact ever since. In a way, they’re each other’s Godsend.

He’s living his dream of alleviating human suffering by sharing the spiritual insights he learned from Sydney Banks, which God nurtured within Harry for forty years.

She’s learning about the “3 Principles” and has uncovered happiness, love, and forgiveness within herself.

With tears in her eyes, she said to me, “Sister, I’m so happy,” and began to share one of her first insights with me …

When we think dark thoughts, we feel dark feelings. When we have happy thoughts, we feel happy.

Martha chooses happiness every day.

She also spoke of loving and forgiving herself, but I mostly felt the pure energy of Spirit in her and through her.

Full of conviction, she urged me to reach out to my friends and share my love and happiness with them—something she had longed for when she felt alone.

“You never know if someone is hurting,” she told me.

I nodded, understanding that we cannot always see beneath the surface.

She added, “Sister, the 3P’s can also help the children.”

When I asked how she shares this understanding with them, she replied, “Through stories,” and mentioned a book about Zahara written by Harry.

The book tells the story of a teenage girl in the Nakivale Refugee Settlement who was raped and shunned by her community but found happiness and strength through new understanding.

Another story Martha tells the children is about a lion tricked by a rabbit into jumping down a well, escaping the lion’s claws.

It’s a metaphor for trusting our wisdom to find our next step, even in the most challenging times.

As I listened to this woman full of emotion and even fuller with potential, my whole heart smiled with joy and hope.

I imagined the future generations she might inspire to find happiness, love, and forgiveness within themselves.

While we talked, one of the two cows mooed.

Hilda Senior said hello and showed me some banana trees on the greenest little farm I’d ever seen.

She sends surplus crops to the orphanage whenever she can.

Hilda Junior, now four months old, cooed and gently kicked her feet as her grandmother held her close.

The three of them were a beautiful trio.

“You are our sister,” they said, smiling at me.

Indeed, I am—and I am so lucky.

I don’t know what you might see in this account of our conversation, but if it helps even one person, it’s worth sharing.

Our lives and circumstances may differ significantly, but we are the same.

We are made of the same cosmic energy continuously moving through us. It is LOVE.

Can you see it? I hope you can.

Sincerely,

Shailia